Like?

What makes us like one person and not another? How do you stop liking someone when you know your feelings are one-sided? Or you know they are bad for you? I've been asking myself these questions for the past 12 years or so that I've been dating and I still don't have any answers.

Sometimes I think that you tend to like people who remind you of someone else, whether it be your first love, last love, first heartbreak, etc. We search for people with similar mental and physical qualities to important players in our history. We long for the familiar. Do we really just date the same person over and over again?

I have a tendency to project someone else's interest in me into my own. If someone pursues me and makes me feel attractive and wanted then I will begin to feel the same way. It happens whether or not I was even remotely interested at first. Too many people have caught me off guard and chased me until I wanted them back.

Jon from NH is a classic example. I didn't like him or find him attractive at first but he wanted me badly and persisted. Distance or time didn't matter to him. He was simply excited to talk to me and eventually see me. After a few months of his persistence it finally sunk in and I reciprocated his feelings. And I ended up losing anyway.

When they're finished and not interested anymore I'm left feeling really stupid. "It was your fault damnit!" I think. "I didn't even want to be in this place! You made it seem safe!"

Then there was Jon at work (I have to stay AWAY from that name) who had a girlfriend. He also chased and flirted with me. I wasn't even remotely attracted at first but he won me over with flattery and eventually sunk in my head. In the end I ended up looking stupid again.

I need to have more control and not just give into someone's persistence.

Ideally I think that two people should meet in the middle. One shouldn't chase the other. They should be mutually interested. That is how it should begin but I have no idea where it goes from there. I've probably only met one person in the middle in my life. Everything else was a struggle for control in either direction.

You would think that I would know better and learn to protect myself by now. I could lament on this forever but now it's sleepytime.