Monday, January 19, 2009

Sensuality

I have rediscovered my sensuality and it is amazing. I have found myself a boy toy. Or rather he found me on Christmas Eve Eve. What a lovely present to find during an especially lonely time of the year.
He swept me away with his accent and flirtation. He extremely affectionate. He is intelligent and funny in my goofy way. He open-minded and adventurous.
He touches and kisses as hard as I do, yet not too hard. He always seems genuinely happy to see me. He is beautiful, passionate and exotic. Everything that my last wasn't.
I know that few things last and I won't be too surprised if and when this one fades.
I take him for what he is and not what I wish that he would be. No one can save me from my loneliness but me.

I'm not letting myself get swept away before knowing who he really is this time. I'm keeping my head and yet enjoying every drop of passion and feeling. He heals me the way that I need, and he's finally erased all of the other fingerprints.

This time I won't let anyone cloud my goals or my boundaries. I just enjoy his company.

However, there are red flags. He fails to meet #1 on my mate criteria- must be into only me. There is a potent ex factor. He says that they tried all they could but he is obviously not over it. I wish he was. I'm so tired of men who pine for anyone but me. If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with, damnit.

It's hard to say what his priorities are. I have a feeling that I'm not the only fish his pond. For once that doesn't hurt. I must have spent all of my hurt on the last one. No one is getting that close to my heart this time.

I will truly be fine either way. However, it is nice to have someone to kiss and spend time with :0
We shall see what hapens.